Single Parenting

With an unplanned pregnancy you need to consider that you may be a single parent. Single parenting is not an easy choice to make. You will have many days where you might not think you can make it. Even though we fully support your decision to parent and will help you in any way we can, we want to make sure that you are not putting yourself into a stressful and harmful situation. Remember to learn about all of your options! Our trained peer counselors at The Center are ready to help you learn about the support services that exist in Logan. We're also here to support you throughout your pregnancy and after your little one's arrival.

However, simply because this pregnancy was not planned does not mean you will automatically be a single parent. The father of the child may surprise you and want to parent the child with you. Or simply because you start off as a single parent does not mean you may always be a single parent. Many women with children find relationships, love, and marriage.

Here are some questions to consider when thinking about parenting/single parenting:*

• Where will I live?
If you live with your family, an honest discussion about how the addition of a baby will change your relationships can help clarify everyone’s expectations. Other housing options may include getting an apartment, living with a friend or relative, living in a group home with other mothers, or finding subsidized housing.

• Can anyone help me with baby items, maternity clothes, etc.?
The Center has some limited material resources for you and your baby. We can help you find certain material items that you may need throughout your pregnancy and while your child is an infant. 

• How do I get support from my child’s father?
Your child’s father has a responsibility to help you support your child. Many states will help you collect child support. You can start by checking out the ORS website for information on child support in Utah.   

• Is my baby’s father going to be involved?
The involvement of your child’s father depends on several factors, including your relationship with him now and whether he wants to be involved. He may want to be involved—whether you want him to be involved or not.  Or he may chose not to be involved—no matter how much you want him to be. Having an uninvolved father is one aspect of single parenting that you need to consider very carefully. Children do best in a family with a mother and a father. No matter how great your love and devotion to your child, you cannot entirely fill the place occupied by a father. 

• Can I still choose adoption later if parenting doesn't work out?
Yes. You may reconsider adoption after you have been parenting.

• How will being a parent affect my time for me?
Like any new mother, you will not have the same amount of time for yourself than you did before your baby was born. This baby will depend on you for everything, and “me time” will be much harder to come by. If you are planning to parent, talk honestly with family and friends about how they may be willing to help you find some time for yourself. 

• How can I know what is the best decision for me?
Only you can make this important decision, but it’s a good idea to get input from family and other people close to you. Research all your options, ask lots of questions, and take your time—this is a decision that will affect the rest of your life. Don’t be afraid if you realize that you’re not ready to raise your baby and decide to place for adoption—that is a very courageous choice. And if you decide that you should parent your baby, this will also be a decision that requires lots of courage and character from you. Always remember that all of us at The Center are here to support you in your current situation and in all you face in the future. Please stop by and talk to us about your concerns and needs. We look forward to seeing you! 

*Some questions and answers taken from Bethany Christian Services pamphlet "Ten Most Asked Questions About Single Parenting."